Gold Rush – The Underground Facebook Hook-Up Network
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| hexjam.com |
Anyone who’s attended university within the last 100 years
can likely attest to the fact that it’s not a breeding ground for prudishness.
It’s more of a breeding ground for, well, breeding. In first year everyone is
buoyed from the removal of parental limitation, you can actually invite someone
back to yours without having to sneak them in like Stig of the Dump. Second can
go either way depending on whether or not you lucked/blundered into a long term
relationship but mounting exam and dissertation pressures usually result in
third year becoming an epic dry spell.
There are plenty of apps and sites knocking about now which
enable people to advertise their DTF status without all the bother of rolling
into a club and leering at everybody until somebody else leers back, but evidently
that just isn’t enough for some students, hence Gold Rush.
The concept is simple, Gold Rush Facebook groups have been
set up for numerous British universities. On them, students are invited to post
little hints to students that they’re interested in mounting. Said students
read the posts, use the clues to figure out who the other person is, get in
touch and presto. Mounting. The clues range from dirty limericks to more basic,
direct material, such as these gems, plucked from various different Gold Rush
pages:
“I think I'm due a pelvic exam...use whatever you need!”
“To the yappy Italian guy, who works mainly on the first
floor silent section of the library. I find your confidence and boisterous
chracter a real charm. Maybe I could be your next anthropological study during
this period? #smothermeinravioli”
“You go by the name
Legolas..
You've got
beautiful eyes, they sparkle like the Mirrormere...
Will you be my
elf..for one night only..I promise you don't need One Ring to find me..all I
ask is if you insert your arrow into my bow all night long !!”
“To win your heart, and get back my shoes,
You be my Granger, and I'll be your Ron,
Every time I see you, you put a spell on my wand,
Wingardium Leviosa and up up it goes,
So why don't you come on over and give it a blow?”
Those are just the tame ones, if you take the time to have a
proper look you’ll either find yourself impressed at the high standards of
wordplay on offer, upset at the state of the world or curiously aroused. You
can view all this one of two ways, either it’s a last desperate bid to get your
end away before uni (and by extension the world) comes to an end, or a means to
blow off steam (among other things) during the most stressful period higher
education has to offer.
It also provides an additional layer of mutual
understanding, you meet, you screw, and you both carry on with your lives, no
awkward follow-up, no bumping into each other at lectures, nada. Students are
almost uniquely adept at finding innovative new ways to bang and that has been
the driving force behind more online innovation than you can shake a stick at.
Half the reason Facebook came into existence in the first place was to help
Harvard students figure out which of their classmates were single/up for it and
when Tinder burst into existence in 2012, the University of South Carolina was
the proving ground. Will Gold Rush usher in a climax for the swiping sensation
and usher in a new era of masquerade ball hook-ups? No, but it’s still pretty
funny.
Callum Davies
Callum is a film school graduate who is now making a name for himself as a journalist and content writer. His vices include flat whites and 90s hip-hop. Follow him @CallumAtSMF
Gold Rush – The Underground Facebook Hook-Up Network
Reviewed by Unknown
on
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Rating:
Reviewed by Unknown
on
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Rating:
Unknown
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