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Gold Rush – The Underground Facebook Hook-Up Network


Anyone who’s attended university within the last 100 years can likely attest to the fact that it’s not a breeding ground for prudishness. It’s more of a breeding ground for, well, breeding. In first year everyone is buoyed from the removal of parental limitation, you can actually invite someone back to yours without having to sneak them in like Stig of the Dump. Second can go either way depending on whether or not you lucked/blundered into a long term relationship but mounting exam and dissertation pressures usually result in third year becoming an epic dry spell.

There are plenty of apps and sites knocking about now which enable people to advertise their DTF status without all the bother of rolling into a club and leering at everybody until somebody else leers back, but evidently that just isn’t enough for some students, hence Gold Rush.

The concept is simple, Gold Rush Facebook groups have been set up for numerous British universities. On them, students are invited to post little hints to students that they’re interested in mounting. Said students read the posts, use the clues to figure out who the other person is, get in touch and presto. Mounting. The clues range from dirty limericks to more basic, direct material, such as these gems, plucked from various different Gold Rush pages:

“I think I'm due a pelvic exam...use whatever you need!”

“To the yappy Italian guy, who works mainly on the first floor silent section of the library. I find your confidence and boisterous chracter a real charm. Maybe I could be your next anthropological study during this period? #‎smothermeinravioli

“You go by the name Legolas..
You've got beautiful eyes, they sparkle like the Mirrormere...
Will you be my elf..for one night only..I promise you don't need One Ring to find me..all I ask is if you insert your arrow into my bow all night long !!”

“To win your heart, and get back my shoes,
You be my Granger, and I'll be your Ron,
Every time I see you, you put a spell on my wand,
Wingardium Leviosa and up up it goes,
So why don't you come on over and give it a blow?”

Those are just the tame ones, if you take the time to have a proper look you’ll either find yourself impressed at the high standards of wordplay on offer, upset at the state of the world or curiously aroused. You can view all this one of two ways, either it’s a last desperate bid to get your end away before uni (and by extension the world) comes to an end, or a means to blow off steam (among other things) during the most stressful period higher education has to offer.

It also provides an additional layer of mutual understanding, you meet, you screw, and you both carry on with your lives, no awkward follow-up, no bumping into each other at lectures, nada. Students are almost uniquely adept at finding innovative new ways to bang and that has been the driving force behind more online innovation than you can shake a stick at. Half the reason Facebook came into existence in the first place was to help Harvard students figure out which of their classmates were single/up for it and when Tinder burst into existence in 2012, the University of South Carolina was the proving ground. Will Gold Rush usher in a climax for the swiping sensation and usher in a new era of masquerade ball hook-ups? No, but it’s still pretty funny. 

Callum Davies

Callum is a film school graduate who is now making a name for himself as a journalist and content writer. His vices include flat whites and 90s hip-hop. Follow him @CallumAtSMF

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Gold Rush – The Underground Facebook Hook-Up Network Reviewed by Unknown on Saturday, May 30, 2015 Rating: 5

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