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#OnTinderAtTinder - Expectation versus Reality

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If you've ever been on a Tinder date, or any kind of date organised online, you might well have had the 'Oh...' moment. It's the moment when you realise that, in person, your suitor isn't quite as objectively attractive as their photos made them appear. If you have experienced this feeling - grow up. Dating is about getting to know people, not taking them at face value (literally), and if you're organising dates with people purely based on their appearance, you're doing it wrong.

A photo posted by Nathaniel Flaifel (@mrcubanbear) on


More to the point, the disparity between how someone looks in a photo and how they look in real life doesn't mean that they're overstating their attractiveness. Everyone tries to look good in photos at some point or another, and are far more likely to use successful attempts at that on dating sites. #OnTinderAtTinder has been illustrating that point masterfully.


Started by Someecards, the meme involves people posting an image of themselves that they use on Tinder next to one of them from everyday life, sometimes whilst actually using the app. It's a humorous, but poignant reminder of the disparity between real life and online representation. When you're talking to someone online, but have yet to meet them, your interactions only exist within a sort of hypothetical fantasy realm. It's unlikely that bedhead, morning breath, crow's feet, blotchy skin or any of the other supposedly unattractive issues that everyone (EVERYONE) has to deal with on a daily basis ever make it into that world. It probably looks more like a perfume ad.


If you're in a long term relationship, there probably came a point when you realised how much you were drawn to the personality of your partner, how much you had in common with them, or how much you understood each other. It could have been when you first met, after seeing each other for a week or two, or after a long stretch of being friends before one of you finally asked the other one out. If you're using Tinder because you're in the market for a long term relationship, that's principally what you're after, which renders basing your search for love principally on appearance a complete fallacy.


Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Tinder is completely ill-suited to finding a long term partner (although I'm certainly thinking it loudly), but if you are of that persuasion, some time reflecting on how different the person you've been chatting with will look IRL might be helpful. It's as much about being OK with your own appearance as other people's, though, as online culture as availed people of unrealistic expectations of themselves as much as, or more than of others.



Callum is a film school graduate who is now making a name for himself as a journalist and content writer. His vices include flat whites and 90s hip-hop. Follow him @CallumAtSMF


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#OnTinderAtTinder - Expectation versus Reality Reviewed by Callum Davies on Tuesday, February 02, 2016 Rating: 5

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