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Search The Internet With Emoji

Bing Still A Thing

For those of you who don’t know (congratulations on not working for Microsoft) Bing is a Google search competitor that was released by Microsoft a few years ago. Since its initial reveal, over 14 people are confirmed to have used it to make at least one search, and barely a dozen of those guys are Bill Gates' relatives.

Of those, I predict the amount of these searches that were simply the word 'Google' is close to one hundred and seventeen per cent.

Since Bing's unceremonious release, another new craze has swept the internet - this time coming from the East and spreading to the West. Emoji, which originated in Japan in the 90s, have taken the 'net by storm, and now have dozens of dedicated mobile apps devoted entirely to their use. They've even spawned a social network.

Emoji are, for lack of a better word, cool. If you haven’t come across them before, they're essentially a series of standardised emoticons which range from smiley faces to smiley love hearts to smiley poos. Now, Bing will allow you to search the internet with them. Want to know how many apples a day are required to keep the doctor away? Just use some emoji (‘apple’, ‘sickness’, ‘daytime’) and you’ll save your fingertips from a few more moments of exhausting typing aerobics.

I've made no secret that I'm immensely excited about the impending doom of the English language. To no longer have to worry about the difference between a connective and a full stop fills my heart with joy, and the internet’s role in increasing the rapidity of this deterioration excites me as both an abhorrer of the language’s superfluous intricacy and a complete and utter idiot.

It’s a shame that Bing doesn’t have slightly more influence, because if it did then this announcement would probably be enough to single-handedly kill the English language by itself. Instead, it continues to cling on for dear life, and Bing remains a homeless man’s Google. I've always been especially mean to Bing - especially considering it cheats - but if they keep coming up with genius ideas like this then sign me right up, Microsoft.

In fact, keep up this level of ingenuity and I’ll make the switch to Windows Mobile myself. Hell, I’ll even start a campaign to bring MSN back from the dead after you ruthlessly ravaged the poor thing.

In my mind, this shows that Microsoft has been going about their marketing all wrong for the last few years. By embracing emoji, they're displaying to the world that a company notorious for being business-like and straight-laced have a sense of humour. And by beating Google to the emoji-pie, they're showing that they have it in them to win a technological arms race (admittedly not the biggest, but it counts).

So Microsoft, I salute you! Keep up the good work. You may have made some incredibly poor decisions in the past, and you may have released a new operating system in Windows 8 that replaces ease-of-use for a mess of confusing tiles, but jumping on the emoji bandwagon is a great way to show the world you're ready to become cool again.

Fewer tiles, more smiles.


Emile is a postgrad from the University of Saint Mark and Saint John. He’s hoping to break into journalism or publishing, and won’t stop blogging until he’s managed it! Follow him @EmileAtSMF.

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Search The Internet With Emoji Reviewed by Emile Cole on Monday, November 03, 2014 Rating: 5
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